On Monday October 17 I got a call in the morning from my doctor saying they decided on my induction date, Saturday the 22nd, I didn't even know what to say, I knew I was getting induced, and I knew it would be soon but the realization that my boy would be here in 5 days I was freaking out (in a happy excited way) Fast forward to Friday the 21st I had my doctors appointment that afternoon for my last checkup where I found out I was still 2cm dilated, good that my body was getting ready but I had hoped to be further along then that.
After leaving the doctors we were running some last minute errands and I started noticing some pretty strong and frequent contractions, being 38 weeks I didn't know if it was the real deal or just those pesky Braxton Hicks. As the day turned to night the contractions were coming between 2-6 minutes, I was trying to breathe through them and just deal with them, again not really thinking I was going into labor or anything. Eric was fast asleep as he had just gotten off his typical 24hr Staff Duty shift, I tried to fall asleep around 9 or so but shortly realized the pain was getting stronger and more frequent. I got up took a hot bath which only dulled the pain, then I got up and cleaned the house, then took a hot shower, I think I just didn't know what to do with myself.
I sat on the couch with my mother-in-law and we timed the contractions, we both knew it was only a matter of time before we would leave to go to the hospital, Mr. Cameron had decided he was going to come on his own, he didn't need an induction. I had wanted my hair to be nice and straight for delivery, I know it really doesn't matter, but I think the fact that all my pictures with Isabella my hair was up in a bun and for those who know me know 99% of the time my hair is done, I just wanted to look like me in these pics. Eric's mom went to heat up my straightener and was going to do my hair, I realized as I sat down I was so uncomfortable there was no way I could sit still, it was time to go in, the hell with my hair!
We got to triage of Labor and Delivery somewhere around 11:15-11:30 the two girls who were in charge were awful just awful, beyond rude and annoying, and looked at me like I was lying about my contractions since I was supposed to be induced in the morning. They stuck me in the triage room and left me in there for over 40 minutes before even getting me hooked up on monitors...real safe, as I could hear them sitting at the desk chatting, I had to stop Eric from going out there to get them. As a laid there and contracted they would come in periodically telling me how busy labor and delivery was and how a doctor would be in at some point, so I just laid there continued breathing through the pain. When the doctor finally came in to check me I was 6cm dilated and I was going to be admitted, I wanted to do the "na-na-na told you so" little song to the nurse because the way they treated me was like I was faking it just trying to get a bed early.
I was stuck in triage for what seemed like an eternity while they kept telling me they were cleaning up a room for me, finally I think around 2:30 I was wheeled to my delivery room, this point 7cm dilated on no pain meds...NOT by choice, but the nurse forgot to put my order in for the meds, how nice! They got me all set up in the room and at that point I told them I needed my epidural asap forget about the other meds, the contractions were super strong and super painful. After getting my epidural I was excited to maybe get a little rest and to feel better, that feeling quickly faded as I realized the epidural didn't work at all. I have scoliosis which makes it tricky to find the right nerve and I realized she did not find that nerve! In between all of this the nurse we had treated us like crap, and I had a breakdown because this was not the experience I had envisioned.
My last delivery was obviously traumatic, so I had hoped for this to be the complete opposite, I felt like the care I was given was terrible, we were just pushed aside, everyone from the doctors to the nurses were so mean and not sympathetic to my situation at all. Our nurse wound up passing us off to another nurse, named Ashley who turned out to be really nice. I requested they try the epidural again, I did not want to give birth au natural! The anesthesiologist unhappily came back in and was beyond rude, but guess what the second time actually worked. The Dr. had told me he would be back at 6:15 am to break my water, they said as soon as it broke baby would be out really soon, being my second birth in less then 2yrs. So as I looked at the clock and time going by and by 7am wondering where the hell he went, I again had the feeling of just being pushed aside.
Shortly two nurses came walking in like a ray of sunshine, so happy and sweet and told us they were the first shift nurses and they would be taking over my delivery. The entire vibe changed, they were the godsend that we needed. They let us know that the doctor who had been taking care of me had gone home, (gee thanks for forgetting about me) but introduced me to my new doctor. Shortly my water broke and before I knew it I was pushing, and at 8:11 am as the sun was rising my healthy, crying and breathing baby boy was laying on my chest. I have never felt emotion like that before, after losing Isabella to be able to hold my child and look into their eyes and feel their heart beating away, I can't even put into words what that felt like. The whole room was in tears even the nurses, but this time they were happy tears, it was truly the amazing experience I had dreamed about. I'm so thankful that I had that team of nurses/doctor for that moment, they were definitely sent by my angel.
I have had a really great recovery from delivery, really no pain at all, another blessing from my angel. Cameron is an amazing baby, the love I have for him is a love I have never felt in my life. Of course I felt that love when I got to hold Isabella, the love you have for your children is unlike any other, but my love for her always is mixed with heartache, and with Cameron he fills some of that hole in my heart. It feels so good to feel happy again, truly happy it has been too long. There are still some moments that are tough, thankfully my friends who have been through loss as well had warned me of some of the feelings that come up when you do have a living child, so I knew semi what to expect. But overall my life has been all about smiles and cuddles....and lots of dirty diapers lol I am so happy, Cameron has brought me back to life in a way he will never know, he has restored my faith that good things do come to good people, and he has brought Eric and I even closer. I absolutely love my new little family, and all the happiness that is finally back into my life!
our first family photo 10.22.11
That's amazing that he came on his own before your induction! I'm so happy for you and your family :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I know it's so strange the way that it worked out, but I knew all along he was going to come on his own
ReplyDeleteThanks! Yeah, ttc is stressful :/ I really need to take a step back and stop obsessing so much! A lot of people say that when they stop "trying so hard" that's when they get pregnant. I think I'm going to do just that! Thank you so much for the encouraging words. I really appreciate it :)
ReplyDeletep.s. You're an AWESOME mommy too :D